Palms are sweaty...mom's spaghetti!

There are a lot of things to be afraid of in every day situation. One of my biggest fears, the fear of getting started.

I'll have someone tell me "Hey, please do this for me." I know perfectly well I am capable and willing to do it...but something creeps in.  What should I call it?  

Maybe it looks like this guy on the right? 

Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of success? Is it toxic perfectionism?  I know sure as heck it's not laziness because, guess what, laziness does not exist!

What do I do now? I've agreed to do it, because I am capable and willing but now I'm stuck because I can't move forward because scary "monster" is in my way.

This has been my reality a lot lately when it comes to things I "need" to do. Work, chores, anything that isn't something I consider "fun". This includes reading, I'm in the middle of 6 books and I haven't been able to finish any of them.

So what now?

You're going to have to fight it. To fight it you have to figure out what is causing it. Is it biological? Is it chemical? Is it motivational? What is causing you to stop in your tracks?

Ah, this is where therapy comes to play. A trained therapist will be able to help you uncover this. This isn't a secret, but even therapists have therapists! I realize my fear of starting is thanks to toxic perfectionism that makes things bigger, scarier, more complicated than it really is. 

How do I deal? I take a deep breath. I maniuplate my environment with things that make me peaceful, happy, and comfortable. For me it looks like this.

• 90's or 2000's playlist - I don't want anything new, I want comfort music that I know the lyrics and sounds in my bones.

• A fan, I need the stimulation of the air blowing in my face. I don't care how cold it is, the fan is going on.

• If I can herd a cat into my office, this is a plus, but not required. Usually they know when I need them and they come on their own.

• An easy snack that doesn't get your fingers too crusty or dirty. Quick, bite size, yummy.

• Something to drink be it water in a cute bottle with stickers, a boba tea, or a caffeinated drink like soda, tea or coffee.

Okay the environment is set. Now the problem looks less scary because I'm a different mindset.  Instead of creepy figure now the problem looks like this.

Aww I'm not afraid of no Pumpkin! That creaky door didn't reveal a monster, just one of our MCC Furbabies!

Now that the unknown is more familiar, my setting is better, now I start. One step forward. My Physical Therapist once told me "Motion is the Lotion" and Roberto always tells me "Movement before Motivation". That first step is the hardest, but once it happens I can get going. 

Just gotta take that first step!